Wednesday, March 5, 2014

He is Able

I know I've been quiet on here for a while. Since we got the bad news in December, life has been a whirlwind of emotions, holidays, radiation, work, church, grieving, researching, and a whole lot of praying. I have been in and out of some dark places and have pulled away from a lot of people.

There have been many times that I wanted to write a blog post about how I was feeling. About how unfair cancer is and about what it's like to watch everyone around you live their lives when you have the 1,000 pound weight of cancer bearing down on you and it feels like there's no way out. You feel so alone and left out. You feel so paralyzed. But I just couldn't do it.

David and I were so blessed to go on a vacation together to the beautiful Dominican Republic. We had a wonderful time, but even there the thoughts of what lies before me were hard to escape. I prayed a LOT and I came to a place where I knew I just had to let go. (cue cheesy Frozen theme song now) I had to let go of being a mom. I had to let go of living a long life. I had to let go of my hopes and dreams because they were just that, mine. This doesn't mean I'm giving up on living. It means I'm not the author of my story anymore. God is. I gave Him the reigns a long time ago and I have to let go of the anger I've had about how He's handled things the last two years. I had to let go. He may not want me to be a mom. He may let us have 10 kids! He may want me to come home to Him. He may want me to live for 50 more years. It's just not my call and I have to trust that whatever He decides it's the best thing.

It was great to do this. To let go of some of these feelings. But to be honest, it didn't make things that much easier when I got home. I had a few obstacles to overcome last week and we did a LOT of talking about my situation and what we would do next. It just seems so hopeless. By medical standards it kind of is. I felt more and more weighed down by that thought that there was no way out of this awful disease. More torturous treatment that probably won't even work or a torturous death....sounds fun. Not a lot of hope there.

Then a sweet lady at my church gave me Priscilla Shirer's book, God is Able. Now a LOT of people give me books and to be honest I have not read all of them, but something told me to read this book and I'm so glad I did. It helped me figure out what really had me upset and reminded me of the power of the God I serve.

Epesians 3:20
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us."

If I believe that God is who He says He is, then I can't give up now.

I KNOW that God is able EVEN NOW to heal my body and restore my health.
I have always known that He was able. But I haven't always believed that He was willing. That that power would take up residence in me.
He would do those things for other people, but not me.

But this is a lie. God wants to heal me. He wants what's best for me. He loves me so much that He sent His Son to die for me. It's not a matter of His love for me.

God is sovereign and He may not choose to heal me. He may not choose to give me a miracle. But I know that He is able and I have to trust that he will do what's best.

I have a PET scan on Friday. We will discuss the options I have left and probably make some really tough decisions.

I am asking that everyone who reads this will believe with me that God is still able to rescue me from this! Please stand in faith with me! Don't read this and pity me and think, "well she's probably still going to die." Read this and believe that I will live! Read this and believe that GOD IS ABLE and He loves me and wants what's best for me!!!

Please pray for for wisdom and discernment and a miracle. Thank you in advance!


  1. Leslie I have no doubt in my mind that God is able to heal you! I will stand with you as you meet with the Doctors and beyond that too! Love you!!
    Aunt Laura and Uncle Dave too :)

  2. I can't wait for you to write your book and tell your story of how God brought you through. Can't Wait! God and His omnipotent Blessing be with you and your family!!!

  3. Marisa and I are praying for you Ms.Leslie. You are such a Blessing to so many other people. I am sure you are aware but the reality is sometimes what we go through isnt even about us. Sometimes it is for the people close by that watch and listen and think...what an awsome God this wonderful person serves. We will continue to pray as we have been that God will choose to heal your body! We Love you guys and stand beside you in this journey!
    Love T.

  4. Praying daily that He Who is able will heal and restore you to 100% good health.

  5. You are an inspiration. Your blog speaks hope into numerous scenarios. I am absolutely believing for you. I have seen first hand how God can rescue. On more than one occasion.

  6. Leslie, I wish there was I was better at communicating. I feel like this is one of those times in life where you are weary and people have to hold you up. I know Moses was tired and Aaron and ?? (can't remember :)) held his arms up because he couldn't anymore. There are friends of friends of friends from all over praying for you, fighting with you, not giving up. Please let me know if there is anything that we can do for you.

  7. Leslie, I am praying that God will give you the strength that you need to make it through and become cancer free. May you have his blessings to heal you.

  8. I cannot imagine what you're going through, but I know God knows everything. Your attitude is good, your faith is strong. God will comfort and sustain you on this journey where ever it leads. He will be there for those who love and care for you the best. I am praying for you, and will ask my blog readers to join me in prayer, too. May God bless you! {{{hugs}}}

  9. Hi Leslie,

    I just wanted to let you know that ever since I saw your posts about your cancer coming back I have been praying for you. Specifically praying for you today. I happened on Psalm 116 as I was praying for you and these verses really stuck out to me, "I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord: "Oh Lord save me!" The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need he saved me." Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." Psal, 116:3b-7 My he comfort you today. Will continue to pray.
    -Grace (Challies) Frye

  10. I am popping in to add my prayers to yours and others! How wonderful to let go and let God. Our God is good all the time, and all the time God is good!! Those two sayings live with me. I am a cancer survivor. You can't let cancer take your faith or your joy. I hope you feel the love coming you way!!