Thursday, July 26, 2012

Bald is back in!

Well... I did it. We did it, I should say.

The head is shaved!

My plan was to wait until the end of my treatments and shave whatever was left so that it would all grow back I was secretly afraid of what I would look like bald.

Well...I pretty much was starting to look like an elderly person, and the hair that was left was really damaged and got tangled all the time. Plus shedding ridiculous amounts of hair everywhere you go is kind of annoying.

So we did 11:00 last night.

My sweet husband shaved my head.

When I fell in love with this man 3 years ago, I never in my life thought that he would be helping me shave my head?! But he did, like a champ.

And I was not really emotional at all about it...until he looked at me with his sweet, soft eyes and said, "you're beautiful"  Then the tears came.

What an amazing man I have! I am so blessed to have a strong, courageous, God-fearing, loving partner by my side as I walk through this.

Happy Two Year Anniversary to my best friend!

Love You Babe!

Oh and I know you are wanting to see a picture, so here it is!!

Taken by the lovely Diana Christmas.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

The Results are in....

Drumroll please!!! The scan was good!!!

When I found out I had cancer, I had three main prayers that I asked the Father.

1) Please Lord don't let this ruin my fertitlity. Please bless us with Children.
2) Please Lord let the halfway scan come back completely clean!
3) Please Lord let me be able to announce at the Thanksgiving table that I am cancer free.

Aren't I polite? I always say please! While I have prayed many many things since then, these were my goals, so to speak.

Well, we got the scan results today at my doctor's appointment.

The results were good!! The CT scan is still abnormal and tissue can be seen where my tumors originally were. However, The amount of tissue has decreased by more than half for every spot! The official word is that I am showing "pronounced" response to treatment!

We of course asked about the tissue that is left and my doctor said that there is no way to tell on a CT scan whether the tissue is "alive" or "dead." He said that he thinks most of it is scar tissue and dead cells! I'll take it!

The Plan from here on out... 6 more treatments(including the one I had today.) We'll wait 5-6 weeks after the last treatment and do a pet scan.  A pet scan can detect the difference between live and dead cells, so we will know for sure. Then I will see a radiologist to get an opinion about whether or not I need radiation. We are praying AGAINST radiation. It increases my risk for thyroid and breast cancer and we DON'T want that if we can help it.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers. God is working to heal my body, but He's doing so much more than that!

My friend Andy always says "Complete Healing" when we talk about my cancer. What a great reminder. I desire for God to heal me much more than physically. I need emotional and spiritual healing as well.

Jesus died on the cross for us so that we could receive healing. It is a free gift from God that He offers EVERY one of His children.
It says in the Bible,"By His wounds we are healed."

You may not have cancer today, but you probably need some healing. Turn to the Father. Get on your face before Him and don't let his suffering have occurred in vain. His wounds are the only true way to receive healing...complete healing.

I pray that each day I come closer to receiving complete healing from the Lord, until that day when my healing will be completely fulfilled in Heaven. Cancer is just one more step on the journey.

Ask Him today for your own complete healing, and I would be happy to talk to you about it and pray with you!

Love in Christ!


7 down, 5 to go!!

P.P.S. My husband and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary last prepared for a sappy post in the near future. I love him ;-).

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Halfway There!

I'm a little behind in posting this because my life has been kind of crazy lately.

We had such a wonderful time on New Jersey and it was pretty hard to come home! We came home and went directly to church so David could have practice and I could set up Preschool stuff for Sunday. My mom came in town and then Friday morning we woke up and went to chemo!

Round 6! Wahoo!!!

I Have been anticipating this treatment for a while. I am halfway finished and couldn't be happier about that.

With that being said, it was kind of a tough treatment. My body is not pleased with me. I feel like every cell in my body is screaming, "stop poisoning me!" Silly body, you shouldn't have gotten cancer and then I wouldn't have to poison you.

But I know that this is what I need to endure in order to be healthy again, so I continue on.

My doctor asked me on Friday, "So as this experience been easier or harder than you thought it would be?"

My answer: Physically it has been easier. I mean chemo is not fun, but I pictured myself bound to a couch and vomiting all day..neither of which has happened. I'm still able to work both of my jobs and go about my normal routine for the most part. (I am thankful though that at least one of my jobs does not require me to leave the couch.) Emotionally... Much harder than I thought.

Honestly, I am trying so hard to have a good attitude and trust the Lord, but some days are just hard!

I'm almost bald, I've gained 14 pounds, I feel awful every other week, all I want is to have a baby, and I'm just kind of over it! It's hard to not get sucked into the negative thoughts that make their way into my brain. However, I do have so much to be thankful for, and I've had to put into practice the whole "taking captive of your thoughts" discipline.

I was fed up this weekend and I turned to the Word. My bible flopped open to a passage that stated "be patient in affliction." Patience....yeah that's what I need!

So pray for me that I can tame these unruly thoughts and embrace patience as I trek forward!

I had my halfway CT scan today and will get the results next Thursday!!! Pray Pray Pray that it is completely clean! I am believing that God has already cleansed my body of this cancer!!

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

6 down, 6 to go!

Monday, July 2, 2012

...but God is Good

"Lord you are good and your mercies endures forever."

I have been so enjoying my time with the Vogels and Stevensons here in New Jersey! David's family and extended family all congregate in Sea Isle City during the summer and enjoy the beach and a bounty of AMAZING food!

It's such a fun and relaxing time. I have really enjoyed spending quality time with everyone and am so thankful to get to be here!

On Saturday night we had our own little church service since Sunday would be spent on the beach.
Nothing was really prepared, we just went around and shared what God has been doing in our lives.

I loved hearing everyone's heart, but was especially touched by what Grandma had to say.

She shared how hard it's been since Papa died. She shared the lonliness she's felt and how much she's had to cry out and rely on God to get her through. The thing that stuck out to me the most though, was after every statement she stated, "but God is good."

What a sweet reminder that no matter what we face in our life, God is still good. His mercies and goodness endure forever.

As I encounter the struggles of this life and the difficulties that come from my circumstances, I can honestly tell you that I have been so sweetly reminded at every turn just how good God truly is.

I have cancer, but God is good.
I have to go through chemo, but God is good.
I have to wait for a long to time to have a baby, but God is good.
I am not in control of my circumstances, but God is still good.

God is always good.

I pray that I can gold onto this truth as I continue my journey.