I'm not going to go into too much detail on this post because there is still a lot we don't know.
Unfortunately, my biopsy results came back as Hodgkins. This means the ABVD chemo did not completely work. It killed most of the tumors and shrunk them down considerably, but somehow there is still disease left over.
This outcome is not what we had hoped for and not what we were expecting.
We are headed to Vanderbilt on the Monday after Thanksgiving for a second opinion. Most likely we are looking at some intense chemo and a stem cell transplant, but we don't know for sure.
We are fervently praying that God would give the doctors wisdom and complete the healing He already started. We are also praying that by some miracle we will be able to have children some day. Nothing is impossible.
The past few days have been pretty intense. We are heart-broken and disappointed. We feel helpless and out of control. We are down, but not out.
I am trying desperately to hold onto this passage of scripture.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
It would be easy to believe at this point that God is not good. That He does not want good things for me or a future. But this is not true.
No, we don't understand. Yes, we are scared. No, we don't know what the future holds. Yes, our dreams have come crashing down.
But God is still good.
He still wants good things for me.
He still has a future planned for me.
He could still rescue me.
He can still heal me.
Our circumstances do not change the truth of God's word.
God is for us, not against us.
We are down.......but we are definitely not out.