Well...it's 12:14 AM and I can't sleep....so I'm blogging :-)
I had my first round of the new chemo a little over a week ago and everything went well!
It was surprising to me how different it was from my last set of chemo and yet how eerily the same it was....let me elaborate.
This new drug, Brentuximab, is a targeted drug or smart drug. It only attakcs the protein that is found in my tumors and elaves the rest of my body alone. Awesome! It only takes 30 minutes as opposed to the 2-3 hours that ABVD took, and it doesn't have any of the same side effects. No nausea, no hair loss, nothing. It was so easy, comparatively speaking!
The pre-meds that I got, however, were the same as before. The Benadryl made me incredibly sleepy, the anti-nausea meds mess with you, and don't even get me started on the steroids! They also give me a neulasta shot a day or two after the treatment to boost my white blood count and it makes my bones ache. This was by far the worst side effect from this treatment!
I didn't realize that I would have all of the pre-meds with this wonder-drug and wasn't exactly prepared. The most dissapointing part was the steroids. Man I hate them. I'm thankful for what they do in helping the chemo work the best that it can, but the weight gain, insatiable appetite, and sleeping trouble make me want to throw it out the window!
I am very glad to be in treatment, but it was emotional starting all over again. Walking back into an infusion center and getting hooked up again brought about a very bad version of deja-vu. I had so hoped to be done with my last treatment in September and never have to go through another chemo treatment ever again. However, the Lord has different plans for me and we must fight for another year. We are not finished yet.
I told David that if I could just have some sign or promise from the Lord that I would win this fight and survive this disease it would make things better. Could He just speak to me and let me know that I will have life beyond Hodgkins and that this treatment will work? If I could just have some guarantee that I will make it through this, I could endure just about anything.
He lovingly reminded me that if I had a guarantee, there would be no need for faith.
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
Faith is trusting without knowing the end result.
So I continue to walk in faith, praying fervantly that God will heal my body and give me long life. I pray that my story can be used to share the gospel with people who don't know Christ and provide hope for those who need it.
I pray that one day I can look back on this time with my sweet husband and a house-full of kids and be thankful that God taught me so much about faith through this journey!
Thank you so much for your continued prayers and well-wishes! Round 1 done!