"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouses nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?"
~Luke 12: 22-25
God has been speaking to me pretty clearly through the verses above and the ones that follow in Luke.
I have always been somewhat of a worrier. I find myself anxious about things that truly don't matter in the big scheme of things.
The few steps I've taken on this cancer journey have been no different, however, I can see God shaping my heart in this area.
The truth is, I've convinced myself that I do have a lot to worry or be anxious about...I mean really, I have cancer for crying out loud!
Everyday I can wake up and ask a thousand anxiety-filled questions
~Will I be sick today?
~What effect will the chemo have on me today?
~Can I do this for 6 months?
~Are the symptoms only going to get worse?
~Will I be able to get any work done today?
~Can I meet my husband's needs today?
~Can we afford this?
~Will I be able to have kids?
~Will I beat this thing in 12 treatments?
The list could go on and on.
But then God steps in and reminds me that I gave Him control.
My worries are pointless because I am not the one in control.
Yesterday I was feeling pretty sick and my sweet husband came home for a bit to take care of me. I had worked myself into such an anxious state worrying about the side effects and what the next 6 months would be like. He held me in his arms and reassured me that we would weather this storm together. He shared with me how God had provided for one of our specific needs in a big way just hours before and I was instantly at peace.
Of course! Oh me of little faith! How could I lose sight of this truth. Worrying is pointless!
Why would I worry? God LOVES me. He LOVES our family. If He provides food for a stinky bird in the wild, why wouldn't he meet the needs of his children?
I am right where God has chosen me to be. Although unpleasant, this is part of the plan and worrying won't change a single thing.
I know God will get me through the next 6 months of treatment, whatever that entails.
Today I am choosing trust instead of worry. I hope that you do the same!